SOMEWHERE WHERE FOOTBALL IS PLAYED- God has announced a press meeting to clarify his position during the 2011 NFL season. The meeting was announced when Janice MacGregor received a message from God on a piece of toast.
“I know some of you are wondering what’s been going on lately,” spoke the Morgan-Freeman-voiced cloud before taking a moment to adjust the microphone.
“There have been numerous famines, floods, wars, crimes throughout the world. Let alone that fiasco in Rome. I know many of my fans are wondering “Where the hell is God in all this?” and I want them to know that I was busy and I’m sorry, but I was in Denver. You see, there’s this one guy, Timmy, and Timmy’s been really good this year and all he wants to do is win some football games, so I’ve been helping him out there.”
God signed on as a general manager with the Broncos on October 23rd, coinciding with the decision to put the Christian as the starting quarterback.
Since their partnership, Tebow has managed to tie with Peyton Manning for 4th quarter come-from-behind victories.
“Ya know what? The kid’s got faith, every point scored and he’s Tebowing to me. It’s not exactly slaughtering a fatted calf, or even burning a pigeon, but a deity can only ask for so much these days” spoke the almighty cloud.
The next game will be one for the history books as the Broncos take on the Patriots, putting God on the opposing side of America for the first time since its inception in 1776.
“I believed in a god that stood behind good ol’ American patriotism. Now the big guy has a choice, he can support some kid or he can support America” said senator Susan Collins.
“And provided that the Patriots do not win, I’ve written a proposal to finally remove ‘In God We Trust’ from our money.”
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