Williams died at the age of 20 as a result of a riot after he retold the time he crocheted a Spock blanket after his parents abandoned him in an well and how this relates to the second derivative of an exponential graph.
Professors have reported that Williams has been the victim of bullying in the past.
"At first it started with dirty looks, one time he gave his opinion on basic addition and I threw a chair at him. A metal chair, the ones with a desk attached." said Dr. Lisa Connors.
"It would be nice to say that Tristen will be missed by everyone, but since the funeral my class has been so quiet and cooperative!"
The funeral was primarily attended by other annoying students.
"Tristen was a student with a gift-" stated Fr. Gregory, pastor of Our Lady of Perpetual Perpetuity.
"Not really" interrupted one student "I'm twice as irrelevant on 67% more issues on a far more regular basis"
"Well, Tristen was a good man." replied Fr. Gregory, starting again.
"Oh no he wasn't. He once charged me $2.00 for a carton of chocolate milk which should have only cost $1.93 back in Gr. 6." said student Anna Waltsburg.
"It was at this point that I ended the funeral," Fr. Gregory later said.
"A funeral can only accomplish so much for a soul. I think Tristen and these other students require more prayers to save their souls. However, none of these prayers will be coming from me!" finished the visibly distraught cleric.
