Room KCI 128 Frozen in Time

EXTRATEMPORAL VORTEX- In a turn of events still not entirely understood, room 128 of the Kenneth Colin Irving Chemistry Center has become frozen in time, during Malthus Osmodeus' Intermediate Calculus II. This strange phenomenon has many scientists puzzled, and many students bored.

Despite the incredible nature of this event, not all scientists are worried.

"It's not really anything to worry about." stated Darryl Osburn, a physicist of some degree, "I mean, it is technically impossible. That, or physics as we know it is entirely wrong. It's also a paradox that destroys all common sense or reasoning. Still, we shouldn't take it too seriously."

Osburn was also quick to reassure that the rest of the Universe should still behave normally.

Others, such as Lisa Colburn, a popular science-fiction author, are emphasizing the positive implications of the time-freeze.

"I mean, think about it. What could cause this? Maybe it's a future civilization attempting to break through the restraints of time. If that's true, maybe sometime we'll be able to break the very laws of nature and go back in time to slap our past selves for making such stupid decisions. Think about the implications, here."

A few students have escaped the room. Jerkles Monnahan is among them.

"At first I didn't notice. I mean, Dr. Osmodeus' class alway seems long, but he was really droning on today. Then I looked at the clock, and it wasn't moving. I knew then that the flow of time itself had stopped. Others gradually caught on, but nobody really knew what to do."

The escapees report that once Professor Osmodeus became aware of the situation, he decided to use it as an opportunity to teach all the material he could not include in the course due to time restraints.

"He said, 'Well, we're on page 67 of 1293. We might as well finish this thing.'. It was probably the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. I just hope the place returns to normal time by the time reading week's over. I wouldn't want to think of the poor students still in that room."

Among those who survived the temporary suspension of physics, most report being saved either by a sword-wielding frog with an Elizabethan speech pattern, or by a frazzled, absent-minded genius riding an 80's sports car.