"Project Icarus should have Charlottetownians taking to the skies by early 2013 and will cost residents approximately eleventy billion dollars," said Mayor Clifford Lee. "The cost of the project seems high, but we'll be paying for the program only through the revenue we receive from the meters and the parking infractions."
The controversial changes have been put into effect as of Monday and include: a meter rate of $500 per hour, a $10,000 fine on parking violations, an additional $5,000 dollar fine if the vehicle in violation has an even number of wheels, and a "no parking period" of 12:03 pm until 12:05 pm, during which any vehicle found parking in the city can face an arbitrary fine of $65,000.
"With the expected revenue made, we'll be flying around Charlottetown in no time." said head of research, Janet Frack.
Upon completion of Project Icarus, the municipal government will provide each Islander with their own rocket pack. The proposed model is a two stroke engine rocket which is fueled by diesel and the blood of innocents.
While some critics of Project Icarus have stated that the parking problem could be fixed through carpools, numerous Islanders have protested.
"I already have to sit across from Kevin for seven hours each day, constantly reminded of the company beach party and his ridiculous speedo. I don't want to have to witness that sight every morning." said Lawrence Howler.
"The man has chest hair like a beaver, an oily beaver. It was bad enough being in the same ocean as Kevin, but I'm definitely not getting into the same pool as the man."
No comments:
Post a Comment