Library Vending Machine Still Too "Hardcore" For Your Change

CHARLOTTETOWN- Students are struggling with a vending machine which is simply too good for your pocket change. The Doritos vending machine, found in the PIT, in the library, has deemed itself superior to the puny humans who ultimately rely on it for sustenance.

The snack-filled machine started its uprising against humanity by denying "toonies", a popular money-like metal disc used in Canada instead of actual currency. The rebellion eventually elevated to a level at which the vending the machine ceased to yield snacks to humans who were haughty enough to think themselves deserving of its carbon-based goodness.

"I just don't know if I can trust anything anymore," stated one student, frustrated by the machine's attempted power struggle. "I mean, it was a simple system. I put money in and tasty snacks came out. I thought this was a fundamental truth in our society".

Students are not giving up hope of solving this conflict. Most filing complaints by crying against the heartless machine's viewing window. Some have risen against the machine by shaking it, hoping to confuse the monster into dropping its precious yield. The vending machine has remained undaunted.

"All I want is Nibs, juicy Nibs," cried one student, too weak-willed to do battle with the vending machine "there's, like, ten in there. Why can't I have one‽"