U.P.E.I. Attacked by Giant Germ Fighting Monster

CHARLOTTETOWN- At 2:34 pm on Friday November 20th, the campus of the University of Prince Edward Island was destroyed by a giant monster made entirely of the popular hand sanitizer, Purell. Witnesses describe the attack as something that was 99.9% effective.

Investigators are reporting that the attack was imminent and had had months of planning. Some report that the trusting university had increased it's stock of hand sanitizers by 15,000% in the last few months. After weeks of dormancy, the monster escaped the numerous hand sanitizing stations and gathered in the Duffy amphitheatre during a introductory biology class during a lesson on how living creatures are all comprised of cells. Students were smitten by the Purell monster as well as a merciless stroke of irony.

Without opposition, the Purell monster destroyed 10 empty Prince Edward Island elementary schools to the cheers of elementary school children.

Police report that the monster has formed an underwater cavern in the depths of the Hillsborough River. Citizens of Charlottetown suspect that the monster will arise from the river when the city is attacked by a giant H1N1 virus later this month.