Chemistry Students Test Effects of Prolonged Exposure to Ethanol

CHARLOTTETOWN- While most sluggish students at UPEI are lazing about over Christmas vacation, chemistry students have announced a new project for the break.

"We will be doing an extensive study of ethanol over the Christmas break," said Marcus Gold, a 4th year student. "We're particularly interested in its effects on humans."

Upon being pressed for more information, Gold stated "Consumption of ethanol is very dangerous for those who have not been trained in the field of chemistry. We highly recommend dropping it off to the qualified personnel in the chemistry lounge for proper disposal."

"Look at this!" exclaimed Duncan Walters as he added a few drops of bromothymol blue to a bottle of vodka.

"It's all yellow! Is this bad?" questioned one oblivious university administrator, too foolish to understand the grave revelation placed before him.

The students will be present in the chemistry lounge for the remainder of the Christmas break and will be accepting all forms of ethanol contained in kegs, glass bottles or metal cans. However, they will not be accepting Schooners since "it's a piece of crap."

"Friggin' month-long bender" exclaimed Matthew Gates, a 3rd year student, likely referring to a complicated experiment.